


murders & memories

by humancorn



Series: OT4: Mischief & Murder [6]
Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Kinda Crack, M/M, Multi, OT4, PLS COMMENT NICKNAMES FOR HEIJI, Textfic, Texting, WHY CAN I NOT COME UP WITH NICKNAMES FOR HEIJI, poster child of i've been sitting on this fic for too long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 00:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20398684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humancorn/pseuds/humancorn
Summary: HakuKaiHeiShin Text-Fic where the boys have a whole bunch of Whatsapp group chats dedicated to various things. Shenanigans ensue, obviously.





	murders & memories

**Author's Note:**

> take this somewhat unfinished fic thats been sitting in my drafts for 2 years. feel free to comment headcanons and stuff to give me ideas on how to continue it because honestly I'm stuck lol <3

April 6th, 2017

11:16am

_ Hattori heiji created group “Murder” _

_ Hattori heiji has added kudo shinichi, hakuba saguru, and kuroba kaito _

_ Hattori heiji changed the subject to “Murder Clues” _

**Kudo Shinichi** : heiji this is unethical and against the law

**Hattori Heiji** : how so, Kudo?

**Kudo Shinichi** : i’m pretty sure Megure would not approve and Kaito isn’t even a detective

**Hakuba Saguru** : Why am I included in this?

**Hattori Heiji** : dude, why wouldn’t you be included in this?

**Hakuba Saguru** : I work theft cases, Hattori, not Homicide.

_ Kuroba Kaito _ changed their username to  _ the best magician ever _

_ Kuroba Kaito  _ changed  _ kudo shinichi _ to  _ boy wonder _

_ Kuroba Kaito changed hattori heiji to slut baby _

_ Kuroba Kaito changed hakuba saguru to horse power _

**Horse Power** : WHAT IN THE WORLD DID YOU DO TO OUR NAMES?

**Slut Baby** : Why am I Slut Baby? Like, what?

**The Best Magician Ever** : ‘Cause you’re my favorite, baby. ;) 

**Boy Wonder**: I like mine. Though I do think nicknames are unprofessional for a chat about clues for homicide.

**Slut Baby** : I’m your favorite? I thought Kudo was your favorite?

**Horse Power** : I thought we all agreed that we would share each other equally?

_ Boy Wonder changed the subject to “Heiji and Saguru bicker to death” _

**The Best Magician Ever** : nice one, hun. 

**Boy Wonder** : thought it should be something catchier 

**Slut Baby** : I think he was being sarcastic, Kudo.

_ Slut Baby changed the subject to “Boyfriends & Bootyshorts” _

**The Best Magician Ever: ** ok I’m locking that one down. This is no longer a chat about murder clues, I declare it to be a chat for ~ sexy times ~

**Horse Power:** Why are you like this?

**Horse Power:** I do not disagree, though.

**Slut Baby:** It would at least fit the names kaito gave us.

_ April 6th, 2017 _

_ 5:55pm _

  
  


_ Boy Wonder created group “Kaito Kid Chat” _

_ Boy Wonder has added slut baby, the best magician ever, and horse power  _

_ The Best Magician Ever left _

_ Boy Wonder added The Best Magician Ever _

_ The Best Magician Ever left _

_ Boy Wonder added The Best Magician Ever _

_ Boy Wonder changed The Best Magician Ever to Mediocre Houdini _

**Mediocre Houdini: ** WTF SHINICHI

**Boy Wonder** : Payback’s a bitch, baby.

**Mediocre Houdini:** HOW THE FUCK DID YOU LOCK THIS NICKNAME DOWN? I CAN’T EVEN CHANGE IT ON MY END?

**Boy Wonder** : saguru helped me.

**Horse Power** : I did indeed. Good luck figuring out how to remove yourself from this chat as well. ;p

_ Boy Wonder changed Slut Baby to Big Tan Muscle Man _

**Big Tan Muscle Man: ** Kudo, whyyy

**Mediocre Houdini** : HAHA ABS 4 DAYZ, AM I RIGHT

**Boy Wonder** : I’m not the one who changed that.

**Horse Power** : Kuroba, are you hacking the system to try and get your name changed?

**Mediocre Houdini** : You bet your ass I am.

  
  


_ April 6 _ _ th _ _ , 2017 _

_ 9:12pm _

_ “Kaito Kid Chat” _

**Big Tan Muscle Man** : Kuroba, when the fuck did you have time to hide this heist notice in my shoe?

**Mediocre Houdini** : I have no idea what you’re talking about, lovely.

**Boy Wonder** : And one in the breadbox? What’s up with the riddle, anyway? It’s way too easy.

**Horse Power** : I agree, it’s very shoddily written as well. Did Jii- _ san _ have to cover for you while you were trying to figure out how to change your username?

**Big Tan Muscle Man: ** so just to be clear the diamond is going to be stolen at a party that ran’s girlfriend’s dad is hosting right

_ Mediocre Houdini left _

**Boy Wonder: ** i think we should all skip this one if he’s going to be a baby about it

**Horse Power: ** I second that.

**Big Tan Muscle Man: ** we don’t need him getting hurt or captured by the police tho

**Horse Power: ** Kuroba can handle himself. He was pulling off heists way before we got involved.

**Big Tan Muscle Man: ** tru dat

  
  
  
  



End file.
